99 Reasons Why

28 Mar

99 Reasons Why by Caroline Smailes  is a new book in every way possible. It is only being published as an ebook and has a total of 11 different endings, 9 of which come with the book so,  on kindle the ending can be navigated via multiple choice questions and on ipad/iphone it is via a spinning story wheel.  Of the additional 2 endings, 1 will be handwritten by Caroline and auctioned for charity and the other? The other is right here on this very happy blog!

So on the day that I realised I was hosting an ending to the book that has been causing uproar and confusion in the literary world because of its controversial 11 possible endings, I was at my book club.  Yes, I know a book club that actually lets me be a member – its astonishing!  Anyway back to the book, I asked my fellow book clubbers what their initial thoughts would be to reading an ebook with a possible 11 endings? These were their reponses:

” How innovative!”
” Something new for literature that has been enabled by the digital age”

Mostly though the resounding response was – ” What an interesting and different concept, we really want to read 99 Reasons Why and then wouldn’t it be fabulous to then meet up with caroline to discuss it as part of book club :) “

I was both surprised and pleased at the response, because 99 Reasons Why is so different, I had fully expected some of my fellow book clubbers to be, dare I say, snobbish about the concept.  Mainly because I have been aware of the confusion 99 Reasons Why has drawn from people – who just don’t get the novelty of the concept to having 11 possible endings for one book.  I saw the author Caroline Smailes on tv recently explaining about 99 Reasons Why and I found myself shouting at the TV, because the other authors on with her were quite dismissive of the books concept.  It is amazing to me in a time where innovation happens every day, that people still struggle to understand something new.  As a book it is different and interesting – which is made more so by its 11 endings!

I have started reading the book and so far I’m loving it, its’s funny and strange, the main character is just a little bit disturbing but also quite child- like. It is well written and I feel that I am right there in that room, looking out that window with Kate, the story is written as if kate is chatting away with you and I am finding that I really enjoy the simplicity of it.  So without further waffle from me here is the whole point of this post – one of the 9 e- book endings to 99 Reasons Why:

99: the reason why I was only worth ninety-nine quid

It’s been six days since the little girl in the pink coat went missing and me Uncle Phil’s in me bedroom.

We’ve been watching the little girl in the pink coat’s mam on the news. She was appealing to the public for witnesses.

‘Didn’t realise she had a mam,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Everyone’s got a mam, pet,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘She sold her story to The Sun,’ I says, looking at me telly.

‘Got a few quid,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘She wanted nowt to do with that bairn before all this,’ me Uncle Phil says, looking at me telly.

‘Do you know where she is?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Belle?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘She’s safe,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘Your mam’s keeping an eye on her.’

‘Can I be her mam?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘No, pet, you’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Can you make Andy Douglas come back, Uncle Phil?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

Me Uncle Phil shakes his head.

‘I love him,’ I tell me Uncle Phil.

‘Andy Douglas is your brother, pet. You didn’t seriously think Princess Di was your mam, did you?’ me Uncle Phil asks me.

I nod.

‘You’re a cradle snatcher just like your mam,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I nod.

‘Your mam miscarried when she found out I’d been banging Betty Douglas. Betty was expecting you,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

‘When you was born, your mam went mad and I ended up buying you from Betty Douglas for ninety-nine quid,’ me Uncle Phil says.

‘Ninety-nine quid?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘I paid a hundred but got a quid change for some chips for your mam and dad’s tea,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You bought me?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

I’m a little bit sick in me mouth.

‘It was the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me. ‘I got Betty Douglas pregnant straight away with Andy.’

‘I’m pregnant,’ I says to me Uncle Phil. ‘I’m pregnant with me brother’s baby,’ I says, and then I throws up on me purple carpet.

‘You’re a filthy whore,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘What am I going to do?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘You’re going to have the baby,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘Have me brother’s baby?’ I asks me Uncle Phil.

‘Then I’m giving it to Betty Douglas to bring up,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘You what?’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s the right thing to do,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

‘I can’t—’ I says to me Uncle Phil.

‘It’s either that or I’ll make you disappear,’ me Uncle Phil says to me.

I don’t speak.

I’m thinking, they’re all a bunch of nutters.

I hope you all go and buy the book – you can get the kindle edition here and the ipad/iphone edition here - you have another 8 possible endings if you don’t like the one I’ve hosted here :)

You can also find Caroline Smailes – the fabulous author of ’99 Reason Why’ at her Blog, on Facebook and on Twitter

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Exploding head and new, exciting events!

23 Mar

So this post is about my head exploding – not literally obviously, but there are so many exciting events going on at the moment that I just had to share.  For the last 4 years I have been working really hard, sometimes ’til 3am on a business that my mam left me.  Now I’ve always wanted to work for myself and am definitely not afraid of hard work, but here’s the thing that no-one tells you – running your own business is not only exciting being your own boss and all that.  It can be soul destroying.  It can work its way through your confidence until you don’t know which way you’re supposed to go.  There are times when you think ‘Oh God I really, really can’t do this anymore, it’s never going to happen, I’m not doing it right, etc’  As an entrepeneur/business owner you don’t just have an idea and from there everything falls into place it is so much more involved.  You become a Jack of all trades – and you have to master them to a certain extent.

In the last 4 years, I have done 3 patents (1 obtained and 2 pending) without a patent attorney.  I have learned how to build and manage a website – and I’ve also learned when to ask the expert to take over.  I have grown massively in this time, but I had lost my passion for it all, it just wasn’t exciting me anymore – or more to the point, there is only so long you can not get paid before it starts negatively affecting you.

Today all that changed.  We had a meeting with some fabulous people, who ‘got’ who we are and what we are trying to do, because they want to do the same thing.  They have the ethics in a company that we are looking for in a partner company.  They know what they are talking about – and also what we are talking about.  Within 10 minutes of this meeting, I thought ‘Ah, this is what the last 4 years have been about’.  It suddenly all started coming together, that all the work we had been doing for the last 4 years, brought us to that exact moment where both sides realised that we could work together and that it could and would be fabulous.

So to the head exploding – in the past week I have met new people, opened new doors and possibly started at least two new adventures and after the last few years it is just so positive and wonderful that I felt the need to hug complete strangers in a service station ( I did thankfully manage to restrain myself – just!)  and want to dance round the house randomly.  I have so many supportive women (and a couple of guys too) around me both on and offline, that whatever happens I do know it will all work out, the hardest part is behind me – and this new adventure may take me to brand new places but wow what a difference a couple of years can make in a girls outlook on life!

So to all you fabulous people in my life, thank you!  Here’s to exploding heads and getting excitement and passion in life back – best way to live really :)

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Book Review of: Azuri Fae by India Drummond

12 Feb

Azuri Fae Book two of the Calendonia Fae Series by India Drummond

Finished reading the second instalment of India Drummonds Calendonia Fae series and oh my goodness! This series is rapidly becoming a firm favourite.  I have the books on kindle for computer, but these will definitely be ones that I buy in hard copy when I can.  Azuri Fae continues the story of the Azuri Fae Eilidh and her druid Quinton Munro.  A faery Prince disappears, and Eilidh and Munro are tasked secretly to find him.  There are twists and turns and more druids and Azuri Fae throughout the book, that made me want to go to perth and the Isle of Skye to see them in person.  I found myself getting very frustrated and hurting on their behalf in some parts.

I was straight in India Drummonds Faerie world from the first page and read it straight through – you know its a fantastic book when you really wish the rest of the world would go away and stop talking to you! :)  I don’t want to give too much  of the story away, but if you like a book that transports you to another world, where for the duration of the book you feel you are right there and even when you finish the characters stay with you and you can’t wait to find out what happens next, then I suggest you immediately buy firstly, Blood Faerie (Book 1) and then Azuri Fae (Book 2).  I am so glad I found these books and can’t wait to see what happens in  Enemy of the Fae (Book 3 – due for release 2012)

You can also read my review on Goodreads.

Find India at her website on twitter or on Facebook

Buy Blood Faerie & Azuri Fae  on Amazon just click on the book names.

Hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

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The post where I eek alot over 100 word challenge!

13 Jan

So today is the day where it was announced and where we can share it with the world.  A lovely friend of mine Caroline Smailes  decided to do a challenge where people wrote a flash story of 100 words to be put in an e-book with ALL proceeds going to the charity one in four.  Now I’m not actually a writer, through twitter I’ve been honoured to have made friends with some amazing authors and I love keeping up with and supporting all their new material.  So when Caroline announced the 100 word challenge I thought it was a fabulous idea and the charity that the proceeds are going to is something close to my heart, so I decided to tweet, share with my friends and circles, to get as many people involved as possible.  What I hadn’t planned was to actually take part – as I said before I’m not a writer, but a story started taking place in my head and it wouldn’t go away.  So I wrote it down, still not planning to send it in because as I kept telling myself I’m not a writer and someone like me couldn’t possibly send something in where there would be proper writers.  Then something strange happened last Wednesday at the last possible minute, I found myself emailing Caroline with my 100 word story.  As I pressed send I was still thinking ‘What the hell are you doing??’  I didn’t expect to get picked, but what I gained from sending in the 100 word challenge was this: freedom.  I wrote a post at the New Year of my dreams to achieve in 2012 writing wasn’t on that list, because although I have always loved writing I’ve never thought enough of myself to actually seriously write down my little stories until I sent that 100 word challenge to Caroline and got picked.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that because I got picked I’m now going to be a published author and I rock – I just felt the freedom of sending in the piece to begin with because its new for me, instead of saying ‘oh I’m not good enough to send something in like that’, I just did it.  To me its amazing that one person (Caroline) started something that has ultimately grown bigger than even she imagined and it’s really something absolutely wonderful that will help an amazing charity – along with helping me to grow so thank you Lovely Lady as always You Rock!

To see Carolines’ original post go here –  100 word challenge

To see Carolines’ announcement post go here - The post where the results of my 100 word challenge are announced.

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Book review: Dead Game by Claire Kinton

8 Jan

For me one of my biggest delights with twitter has been getting to  know some amazing authors and reading books that I may not have found otherwise.  So in 2012 part of what I’d like to do on my blog is review some of the fabulous books I read. Reading has always been a big passion of mine, so I’d like to share with you some of the books that I read and love in 2012.

My first book review is on Dead Game by Claire Kinton - this is one of the most heart warming, beautiful books I’ve read in a long time.

Dead Game follows the story of Archie after his death in the persian gulf when his plane goes down. He finds himself in transit, which is the place between earth and the other side. Its a story of his journey both in life and in transit and the lessons he learns. It is one of the most simply beautiful books I have read in a long time, it made me laugh and equally cry and my heart hurt, but throughout the book I felt hope.

You can also read my review on Goodreads for Dead Game (Claire Kinton)

You can find Claire at her website and on twitter

You can buy Dead Game from amazon just click on the book name.

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Northern Lights – 12 dreams for 2012

31 Dec

So 2012 is on its way.  I’ve just spent a bit of time reading back over my posts from 2010/2011 and wow! So much has happened in 2011. There has been happiness and sadness, laughter and crying, beauty and ugliness – in short life has happened on the scale that it normally does – LARGE!  So for 2012 I wanted to do a list – 12 dreams for every month of the year, that I would like to achieve in 2012.  Hopefully I will be able to look back this time next year and tick off all of them – but if not I know that this year will be fabulous with a lot of experiences that will help me grow and I will keep taking every opportunity that comes my way.  So here is my list for 2012:

1.  See the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis).  I have wanted to see the Northern Lights for years, the majestic beauty of them really appeals to me.  In the last year I have had a few friends who have gone to see them and it has inspired me to try and see them this year. See this post from Paul Steele at www.baldhiker.com for my biggest inspiration to see the Aurora Borealis.

2.  Walking.  Not just walking to the shops, but proper hiking.  I live in a beautiful part of the country and have two dogs, not only that but this year I got an offer from an online friend of mine who does hiking where he lives, from really unfit (me) to superfit (not me!).  So this year, I want to take this friend up on his offer to walk with him, so that I may start going on some really awesome adventures!

3. Learn a new language.  I grew up in an arab country and through out my life spoke arabic on and off – but I never learned to speak fluently. So this year I would love to learn either arabic or spanish – or both! I think they are both beautiful languages.

4. Travel.  I would love to go to Hawaii this year, but I also want to see more of the country I actually live in and the countries around it. So this year, I would love to go to Scotland, Wales and Ireland and at least one place in england that I haven’t been yet (which is most of it!)

5. Learn to play the drums.  I’ve wanted to learn the drums since I was about 13, so this year I would love to see if I can finally get started on learning them, I’m not sure which type I want to learn yet, I just love the sound of them and the feeling of physically connecting with an instrument in the way you do with drums, there is something almost primal about them.

6.  Learning.  I love learning, I didn’t get A-levels as I had my daughter so young, but throughout my life I have tried to take whatever opportunities to learn that present themselves to me.  This year I have my heart set on doing a CIW course to help me learn more about the online environment and some programming with it.  I love social media, website building, anything really to do with the online environment and business, I’ve learned so much over the last few years, but there is so much more I need to learn and to be able to do a course that will enable me to do it as a job would be an amazing dream realised for me.

7.  The theatre.  I would love to go to London and see at least two shows this year.  I love the theatre, but in recent years I haven’t been able to indulge myself, and I think that is part of the problem, I think it would be indulging rather than viewing it as something I really enjoy and allowing myself to enjoy it.  Even if I can’t get to London I would like to do a couple of shows locally.

8.  Friends.  I want to be able to manage my life this year where I can spend quality time with friends and the loved ones in my life, where we can go bowling, ice skating and best of all roller skating.  I want to be able to enjoy my wonderful friends.

9.  Laughing.  I want to continue what I’ve tried to do the last couple of years especially, making sure I laugh at least once a day.  I spent quite a few years being unable to laugh properly, and now I love those moments with people where I really laugh and I don’t feel shy, or embarrassed or worst of all that I’m not allowed to.  Laughing once a day at least, makes everything else in life so much easier to deal with.

10.  Positivity.  This year I want to continue growing and seeing the positive in life whatever is happening.  Life really is so beautiful and I want to be able to continue seeing that everyday.   To be able to see something beautiful in my daily life is such a gift to me, that came out of some very negative events, and this year I want to enjoy this gift even more.

11.  Embrace the new.  This year I want to embrace the new whilst still enjoying the old.  What I mean by that is, life is always changing and growing, nothing stays the same and I want to accept any challenges that come my way and embrace any opportunities that occur.

12.  Love.  I want to love and be loved this year.  I want to embrace being more open and accept that while I think all my friends are incredibly special and fabulous people, they think the same of me.  I don’t always find it easy to accept that, so this year, I would like to enjoy all the love I have in my life.

So to all my wonderful friends on Twitter, G+ and FB,  thank you for a brilliant year, thank you for being in my life and impacting me even when you don’t know you are.  To all my family and friends who are incredibly special to me, thank you.  2011 is on its way out and its been an incredible year – welcome to 2012 and for all of you I wish you masses of love, the best hugs ever and most of all that your 2012 is full of laughter.

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Things happen for a reason

22 Oct

The last month have been an absolute roller coaster emotionally for me and my little family.  Something I’ve realised, family isn’t always blood, family are people who are an integral part of your life and who you can’t imagine them never being in  your life.  I have blood family members who aren’t at all supportive and non-blood family who are my comfort blanket, when times are hard, they accept the fact that I feel the need to wear flashing light up bunny ears at random times and are generally the people who I really know love me because of me.

Over the last month this has become even more apparent to me.  4 weeks ago, I got a call from one of the sisters of my heart, to tell me that a very close friend of mine had died.  I did what I do, and went over to her and her family to be of support to them as much as I could, after all, they have all done the same for me.  The friend of mine who died, was my closest male friend for nearly 8 years, our relationship was purely platonic.  We worked the same and frequently left his wife staring at us, shaking her head in bemusement! We used to go on ‘date’ nights (with his wifes’ permission) to the cinema to see the films that his wife couldn’t stand, we laughed a lot together and spent many an hour just talking about ‘stuff’, everything and nothing.  When my life took a turn for the worse a couple of years ago, he was there to support me through it, he helped me learn to laugh again and to trust again.  He was never afraid to ask me the questions that got right to the heart of things, and his honesty with me, enabled me to be honest with other people around me.  In short, I loved him dearly and thought I would have done anything for him, that I’d be there to support him whenever he needed me.

Unfortunately life doesn’t always work how we think it will.  About 5 months ago, his circumstances changed, he changed, the funny, warm, loving, generous of spirit man that I loved disappeared and a stranger appeared in his place.  I then found myself unable to keep a promise to myself that I would always be there to help him, through anything, I had to walk away, or more to the point I chose to walk away.  We as humans always think that there will be time to heal rifts, to make our peace with a person, to tell people how we feel about them.  Everything that has happened over the last few years, should have taught me differently but it didn’t and my friend died without me telling him how much I loved him, how much I wanted him to get better and how much I appreciated his presence in my life.  He is gone and there is nothing that I can do to fix things between us now.  I thought I would get to say good bye at his funeral, but I got stuck in traffic and only caught the last 5 minutes of the service.

That brings me onto the second event of the last two weeks.  A week to the day that my friend died, I found out that I was going to be a granny.  Everyone asked me how I felt about it, because my daughter is young, and of course as a parent  you want your own child to have all the best advantages in life and having a child while still a teenager is a difficult life choice – I should know I had her at 18.  The truth was after losing my friend, I felt that this new life was a blessing.  My daughter and her partner had decided to keep the baby and I respected their decision and was happy to be welcoming this wonderful new life into our family. Unfortunately life insisted on happening yet again and this new blessing was not to be.  It felt that yet again life was conspiring to bring a lot of difficult events to us all at once.

I have always believed that ‘things happen for a reason’, we don’t always know the reason at the time, but one thing I have learned over the last few years is that, when I look back on even the most awful and depressing situations in my life, I can say if that hadn’t happened I would not have learned, done, understood something else.  Sometimes events happen in life that are set in motion by decisions we have made and sometimes they are unconcious decisions that put us in trauma’s path.  Here is the thing though, there is always something to learn and there are always positives from every event that happens.

I learned through the last month or so, who my real family is, I learned that I can be a support to others in their time of need, I learned that I can lean on others when I need to and I learned that the most unexpected people really do love and care about my little assorted family.  The most important thing that I keep being reminded of, especially over the last few years, is that life really is incredibly short. Children grow fast, to become parents and successful beings in their own right, friends drift away and new ones come into your life. People die and you don’t always get a chance to say good bye (real life really isn’t like the movies).  I am constantly reminded that I need to seize each day like it is my last, take every opportunity life presents me with, don’t let fear rule my life rather let my life with all its imperfections lead me on a wonderful adventure.  A close friend recently got a tattoo that summed it up for me – Carpe Diem!

So to all of you who have been hurting the last month – thank you for the privilege of being able to be a support to you.  For all of you who have been so loving and supporting to me and mine the last month or so – thank you! This post is dedicated to you all.  If I could have one wish, it would be that everyone I love can see  that even in the hardest, most traumatic of times there is still so much beauty in this life and so many wonderful things to still come – if you’ll only open your eyes and look around you’ll see that there is beauty in every place you look.  Everything really does have its reason.. :)

This post is also dedicated to those beautiful, strong, funny and wonderful women/girls in my assorted family who continue to inspire me with their courage and strength and the men/boys who show me what a true gentle-man is and what true strength in a man can be – thank you, all of you and I love you all.

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